Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Oh god it's open bar.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
