AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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