singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
