Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
