Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
