So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
