3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
