i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
