Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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