I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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