ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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