Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You left your underwear on the fireplace
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
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