the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
