Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
