All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
