Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
high people should be assigned attendants
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
