i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
