everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
