Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
