I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
