fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
