I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
