Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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