Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
