took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
