does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
