He is an equal opportunity slut.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
