Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
