we're chasing vodka with high fives
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
