Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My pussy is not your playground.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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