If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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