So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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