What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
