end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
