Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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