It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
