You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
