So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
