Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
