I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
