everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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