he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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