this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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