Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Everyone says I win the strip club
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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