U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
