Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
