I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
