there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
