Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
