i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
