I didn't shave. On purpose
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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