I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
