what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
