I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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